What is my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing in this life? Who should I trust? What signs should I look for that will help me move forward? Why are certain things happening in my life where I feel like I have no control? Will I ever find happiness? Will I ever find love? Am I really important to anyone? These are all questions I've asked myself for the first 4 decades of my life.
When I became a Seeker, I dove headfirst into my spiritual journey. I was open to anything and everything that was outside of what I thought I knew about religion and spirituality. I attended many psychic expos where I had readings from multiple practitioners. I spent time within a mystery school learning about energy healing, sacred geometry, crystals, rocks and doing clearings of negative energies or Beings from spaces.
I joined a group of people at a fire circle where for three consecutive nights, from sun down to sun up, we danced around a huge bonfire to the music from drums and other instruments. I found myself being addicted to hearing what each practitioner had to tell me about my past lives, who I was, my purpose in this life and what special gifts I had.
I witnessed some of the most amazing things I've ever seen in my life while doing these things. This hooked me even deeper into seeking and wanting someone to teach me, to show me the way. With each reading and experience, I found myself feeling more and more lost.
I found that no one could give me a consistent answer that I could believe in. The more I looked for my next fix, the more alone and lost I felt. I was seeking someone that would be able to reach inside my body, to reach inside my very soul and surgically fix the problem. I became disillusioned and angry. Why was no one able to help me?
During the years starting in my early 40's, I began to journal my thoughts and feelings. I began to record the amazing dreams I had. I would translate my intense emotions into visualizations that turned into something that looked like poetry. As time went on, I realized that writing these things down enabled me to see them as outside of myself. With that, I felt like I had something more tangible to work with.
Writing helped me calm my emotions and to recognize that my emotions are not who I am. They are just something I experience that is meant to guide me or to show me where I'm out of balance. I began to grow in awareness with example after example of why I am not my emotions.
A number of years ago, I found myself in a depression where I was beating myself up for all the mistakes I've made and the relationships that were not working. My mind was spinning out of control as I sat in my living room shaking and finding it hard to breathe. Then something unexpected happened.
One of my sons ran up from the basement taking excitedly about how water was flooding the basement because of the huge rains we were having. Our sump pump had failed and the water from outside the house was coming into the basement. I sprang into action getting buckets for bailing water, towels to clean up the mess and of course, reset the electrical breaker to make the pump start running again.
After it was all over, I returned to my living room and sat on the same couch I was before the disaster started. As I sat there I began to realize that all the chaos I had running through my mind before was not sitting there waiting for me. I had to recall what I was thinking and feeling. It was then that I realized that I was actually creating the chaos in my mind. It was not being put upon me by anyone. This was a Truth that I was shown that made a huge difference for years to come.
In a meditation I did, I went into it with the question, "What is my purpose?" The answer I immediately received was, "Know Thyself". This simple statement has been an anchor or guide to me ever since. This is has been the guiding principle and all the answers I needed were inside myself. I just needed to be willing to hear what they were and accept responsibility for using what I learned to grow within and to serve others.
I now understand that the only way I can help others is to do whatever I can to support and encourage them to take ownership and responsibility for their own growth and journey. Years ago, I was seeking answers outside of me. I wanted someone else to tell me what to do. The answers were never there. They are inside of each of us. This has given me a new precept or guideline, that I can only be a guide for others.
As people work with me about their own personal growth, it has been an important bedrock in our relationship that I am here to support, guide and to do whatever I can help them be successful in their quest for their own personal truth.
If you are curious to learn more about this for yourself, feel free to set up a free 30 minute consult with me. By partnering with a coach, we can assist you in seeing aspects you might not understand. I know that we will uncover some concrete steps for you to use that will likely change your life for the better.
Dwight J. Raatz
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